One Year On

Michael Schumacher drove his last Formula1 race on the 22nd of October 2006 and for many people around the world, it was the end of an era. For me, it was the day my childhood ended. I grew up with him, and like only Sachin Tendulkar apart from him has done, he affected my life like almost nothing else. Although he retired more than a year ago, and I will never, for as long as I live, forget his last race in Brazil, a masterclass that only he was capable of, I decided to wait through an entire season of Formula1 before I wrote this piece. Initial reactions always seem just that; initial reactions. After the luxury and consideration of an entire year of watching the sport without him, the mind has a perspective, and mine was very clear; nobody else will ever affect me like Michael Schumacher did.

Not to take away from Lewis Hamilton's breathtaking debut season, or Kimi Raikkonen's mature and controlled championship drive, but they are not Schumacher. It was not just that my mood depended on a Schumacher victory or defeat. Michael Schumacher gave me my identity. He defined my existence as a human being; driving most of my instincts, my juvenile persuasions, my idealistic whims and shaping my particularity as a young, sports loving, Indian boy. I've watched him as a six year old, and grown up with him, as he matured, himself, into a seasoned champion, 37 years of age, but still with the speed and arrogance of his youth.

The sport, and the championship in 2007 were exciting beyond belief. Schumacher's absence did not particularly affect the sport, or its viewership (McLaren, Alonso and Hamilton made sure of that), but did I actually think any one of these drivers was going to alter my identity as a human being? Did I think that I would really give up everything in the world just to see Hamilton race? Can Kimi Raikkonen incite passion in anything other than his car throttle? Does Fernando Alonso really believe he will have the worldwide following that Schumacher did? They are all exceptional drivers, and for someone who likes British sportspersons(my tone might reveal that I do not!), Hamilton might actually some day do to them what Schumi did for the rest of us, but for me, to use a cliche I have grown used to telling friends whenever they ask me about Schumacher's retirement, it was like watching Baywatch without Pamela Anderson!
It's just not the same. For Schumacher made the sport heavenly for us, his drives were nothing short of magical. We were in a trance whenever we saw Michael driving, and the English language restricts me from expressing to an accurate degree, the euphoria he brought to us. What he did was special, and for us Michael fans, it was like a drug that nobody else can replicate.

Formula1 is not a "team sport", in the true sense of the word, whatever people might tell you. It is unlike football or basketball, where there is allegiance to the team as a whole and where each team has an identity, regardless of who plays for that team. In true team sports, you continue supporting that team for as long as you live. Men may come and men may go, but "it" goes on forever. Manchester United fans or New York Yankees fans will attest to that, though one might argue that there are considerably fewer Chicago Bulls supporters now, than there were, when a certain Michael Jordan used to play for them.
Not that I mean to say that I wasn't supporting Ferrari as a whole, but could Eddie Irvine, Rubens Barrichello or Felipe Massa incite the same passions in me that Schumacher did? I supported Ferrari only because Michael Schumacher drove for them; I was supporting Benetton(where Schumacher drove prior to joining Ferrari) before that! Where do I go now? Who do I support? For fourteen years I did not have to ask myself that question, but now that Schumacher's gone, there's nobody left. Over the years I might get to supporting one of the exciting new youngsters, a Nico Rosberg, Sebastian Vettel or Heikki Kovalainen, but if they do for me even half of what Schumacher did, I'll be a happy man.

I took a year to understand and come to terms with Michael's retirement, but such is life. Everyone has to retire someday, sports fans just have to live with that. It is an absurdity that random human beings and their physical exploits affect us to such an extent, but as a sports fan you make a choice to become attached to something you know will no longer be there for you in a few years time. You have to learn to let go, and start afresh, albeit realizing that things may never be the same. Michael's retirement announcement at Monza was like a bolt from the wilderness, however much one was expecting it. One of the defining features of my childhood snatched away from me without my having any say in the decision! It knew then that it was time to grow up.

Formula 1 is something I love, something I will still lose sleep to see. The talent in the paddocks is unbelievable, the competition exhilarating and balanced, but there is no Michael Schumacher. Nothing that incites in me a primal passion, with my heart in my mouth sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for the next stunning overtaking, and so it will be . Schumacher's gone, but Formula1 is on, and all we can hope for is some good racing, our identities set in stone forever, immutable and averse to change. Nobody will ever affect me like Michael Schumacher did.